To Shanice S.:
June 4, 2023 marks the end of a season, and when I put it like that I’m sad. Honestly, I’m probably in a bit of denial. It feels like it’s just going to be a long trip, a few months away and then all will be as it has been for the last ten years. Maybe it’s because you will be back in a few months, or maybe it’s because I know that this is the kind of friendship that lasts despite distance and life changes. I’ve seen a number of people come and go in my time at Uchee Pines, and I’ve seen some of those relationships weather the miles and years. Maybe that’s part of why I’m not here balling my eyes out, feeling like I’ve lost a friend. No, I haven’t lost a friend by any means. Yes, things will be different. The miles will be hard at times. I’ll miss so many things about having you close, but I’ve known this day was coming for a bit now. And a part of me knew it was needful. So I guess when I stop and really think about it, I’m happy and sad all at the same time. I mean having someone be such an intricate part of your day to day life for ten years is a pretty big deal. And adjusting to that not being the case will be hard. But I’m happy for your new venture. This is what we’ve prayed for. This is the making of a dream come true. And in that, I’m happy and can be at peace. Ten years. That’s something! Oh we’ve shared so many moments! Sleepovers on my bedroom floor, you sleep walking, surprise parties, road trips, extra long trips due to broken down vehicles, late night walks, countless tears, much laughter, social committee planning sessions, debates on a host of topics, special music practice, impromptu lunch dates, beach trips, shopping parties, smoothie dates, heart-to-heart talks, and the list could go on and on. I’m going to miss going places with you and doing stuff together. You’ve pushed me out of my comfort zone on numerous occasions. You’ve challenged me to be better—be more than I am. If there’s ever been someone who has been real with me and given me a piece of their mind more times than I can count, it’s you. We’re different. People have wondered how we became friends and why we still are. Sometimes maybe we’ve both wondered that. We think so differently and approach life in opposite ways. And yet we’ve been closer than most. All I can say is that love filled up the gaps. A conscious effort at times to try to understand the other. A recognition that mutual respect must pervade. One way in which we are the same is that we don’t let go easily, we don’t give up when things get hard, we don’t walk away when we face a challenge. We stay. We hold on through the thick and thin. We work through it. And we become better because of it. We are not now the same people we were ten years ago. So much has changed. We’ve changed. We’ve changed each other too. Iron sharpens iron. So thank you for being in my life to sharpen me. Thank you for all those “challenging” talks, for calling me out, for calling me higher. Thank you for loving and seeking to understand me, and also my family. Oh yes, my family. I want to stop for a minute and comment on that particular point. Shanice, you not only became my friend, but you actively sought to become my mom’s friend. You listened to her. If I wasn’t home you would visit her. You respected her. You loved her. She became “your girl”. And she loved you too. I can’t even express how much that meant to me. Mom hasn’t been “liked” all that well through the years. But you looked passed it all and saw who she really is. Thank you for being her friend. You may never know how much that really means to me, but thank you. She will miss you. I’m thankful for so many years and so many impactful moments. I’m thankful for you, that we became friends. If there’s anyone who knows how to read my face, it’s you. You can tell when I’m burdened, overwhelmed, mischievous, content, relieved, sad, happy, bothered, confused, frustrated, in “mission mode”, and probably a host of other things too. (We never did complete that “facial dictionary”, but that’s probably for the best.) You have seen me at some of my lowest points—when I’ve struggled through accepting circumstances, faced big disappointments, made bad choices, been broken and beat down, been narrow minded and uncompromising, felt forsaken and all alone. You gave up things you wanted when I needed someone to stand by my side. You challenged me to think differently when I could only look from one point of view. You were there. That’s friendship. Ten years. You’ve grown up at Uchee Pines. You’ve experienced highs and lows. You made it through work-study, LE, LC, LP and just all the stuff that we won’t take the time to mention here. I’m proud of you. You’ve run the race. You’ve finished this part of the course. This season is over and another one has dawned. Of course, as long as I’m here you’ll always have a home at Uchee Pines. You can always sleep on my floor! We recognize that life as we’ve known it won’t be the same. But my sincere prayer is that God will carry you, just as He has the last ten years. May He continue to be your God, the answer to your every question, the sustainer in your lack, the strength in your weakness, the courage in your fear, the peace in your storm. You “were brought into existence because” you “were needed.” Continue to fill that “need” wherever you are. I love you.
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The following was the Charge given at Uchee Pines' Trainee Dedication.
Turn with me to the theme text, Isaiah 43:1-2: “But now [this is a present thing, right now!] thus saith the LORD that created thee [the Creator of the universe, the One who speaks and it is—now, in this moment, the Creator of the universe, the Creator of YOU, says], O Jacob [Oh (insert name)], and he that formed thee, O Israel, [oh Uchee Pines trainee—the personal God, the One who knows you intricately, the One who is invested in you. What does Psalm 139 say? “How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!” The God who formed YOU in your mother’s womb. “But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and He that formed thee, O Israel.” At this point in the verse the stage is set for what follows. This all wise, all caring, tender, loving, powerful God, says,] Fear not: [don’t be afraid; now if we are being told not to be afraid then there obviously must be something fearful we are dealing with—so whatever that is, God says, fear not…and why? What reason do we have not to be afraid?] for I have redeemed thee, [that word redeemed translates, “to redeem, to be next of kin, to buy back.” God, the One who not only formed us in our mother’s womb, but the One who bought us back from the enemy to give us a place next to Him, to call us not slaves and outcasts, but family—fear not, don’t be afraid because I have not only created you but I’ve considered you of such value that I’ve bought you back, and I bought you back with an infinite cost] I have called thee by thy name; [God says, I know you by name; you’re not just one among many; I have chosen YOU; (insert name)—I have called YOU. “Fear not, because I’ve redeemed you and I’ve called you BY NAME”—but that’s not all] thou art mine. [A few years ago Jai and Shanice went with Mom and I to put on a seminar at a church and during that weekend they noticed that all throughout Mom’s presentations she referred to me as, “my Kim.” They loved teasing me about that. I’m her daughter, I came from her. She loves me. I’m a part of her. God says, You’re mine. Zechariah 2:8 says, “he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye.” “But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.” So now that God has thoroughly established His place, how He views you, how intimately connected and invested He is in YOU—then He goes on…] “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” Water and rivers, fire and flame—this sounds dangerous. We’re going to go through some things! What does water represent?
What does fire represent?
Let’s break it down. Your theme for this Dedication is “Through It All.” You’ve made it through some things over the last year. But your time here at Uchee Pines is only a part of your journey. This verse outlines some of the things you have to get through in life.
Isaiah 59:19 says, “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.” It doesn’t say, you’re going to rise up and retaliate. “The rivers…shall not overflow you.”
“The fire…shall not burn you.” 1 Peter 4:12-13, “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” Zechariah 13:9, “And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.” When you go through all of this—when you go through the water and the fire—your God—the all powerful, all knowing, loving, invested God—will be with you. You’re not going to drown. Even when you feel like the waters are about your neck and you don’t know how you can take anymore—if someone puts one more task on you, if someone says one more unkind word about and to you, if something takes the control out of your hands; even when all this and more surround you and you just don’t know if you can take anything else; God says you’re going to get through it all. You will. And how? When Peter saw Jesus walking on the water and Jesus called to him, “come,” Peter got out of the boat and started to walk on that water. And he was safe as long as he kept his eyes fixed on Jesus. The moment he put his eyes on others he started to sink. “Looking unto Jesus, Peter walks securely; but as in self-satisfaction he glances back toward his companions in the boat, his eyes are turned from the Saviour. The wind is boisterous. The waves roll high, and come directly between him and the Master; and he is afraid. For a moment Christ is hidden from his view, and his faith gives way. He begins to sink. But while the billows talk with death, Peter lifts his eyes from the angry waters, and fixing them upon Jesus, cries, ‘Lord, save me.’ Immediately Jesus grasps the outstretched hand, saying, ‘O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?’ ” (E. G. White, DA 381) “These trials of life are God's workmen to remove the impurities, infirmities, and roughness from our characters, and fit us for the society of pure, heavenly angels in glory. But as we pass through these trials, as the fires of affliction kindle upon us, we must not keep the eye on the fire which is seen, but let the eye of faith fasten upon the things unseen, the eternal inheritance, the immortal life, the eternal weight of glory; and while we do this the fire will not consume us, but only remove the dross, and we shall come forth seven times purified, bearing the impress of the Divine.” (E. G. White, 1T 706) “God brings His people near Him by close, testing trials, by showing them their own weakness and inability, and by teaching them to lean upon Him as their only help and safeguard. Then His object is accomplished. They are prepared to be used in every emergency, to fill important positions of trust, and to accomplish the grand purposes for which their powers were given them. God takes men upon trial; He proves them on the right hand and on the left, and thus they are educated, trained, disciplined.” (E. G. White, 4T 86) Where are your eyes? Where will be your eyes in the coming days, weeks, months, and maybe even years? You have made it through your Lifestyle Educator course, your Healthcare Provider Internship. You’ve learned a lot of good things. But when you leave this place and you find the chilling waters of affliction and distress, the cold indifference of people, the fiery heat of trial and test—where will your eyes be? This isn’t the end of the journey. There are more things you’re going to have to pass through. You are being dedicated tonight and charged with the responsibility of bearing the title Medical Missionary. When those waters come, when that fire is hot, as it most surely will be, look to Jesus and you’ll pass through it all. In shady, green pastures, so rich and so sweet, God leads His dear children along; Where the water's cool flow bathes the weary one's feet, God leads His dear children along. Some through the waters, some through the flood, Some through the fire, but all through the blood; Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song, In the night season and all the day long. God doesn’t promise to remove trouble from our lives. The verse specifically says “pass through”. The word through shows us there is an end. The trouble won’t last forever. And as we pass through it, God promises that He will be WITH you. He’s right there by your side, holding your hand, saying, “Be not afraid.” He will get you through it all. When those waters of affliction, pain, suffering, pressure, overwhelm you—He’s there, working to get you through it. When you feel like you’re drowning in “people problems”—He’s there, pouring love and wisdom into your heart so you can draw warmth from their coldness and get through the issues. When temptation and trial harass your soul and nobody sees or understands the inner fire that’s raging—He’s there, walking with you in the furnace and bringing you through it. “But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” My charge to you, Lifestyle Educators, Healthcare Provider, look to Jesus, because it’s Jesus, and Jesus only, who will take you safely through it all. In 2011 I was in a gift shop and came across a tiny book with red and gold cover and a little heart on the front. Now I have a special affinity to little things so I purchased the book. And in that little book I began to write down any reference I came across defining love. I call the little book, My “Love Is” Book. So tell me if some of the following statements are true or false:
Love is something beautiful! It’s lovely. It’s selfless. When I read through 1 Corinthians 13, I think, “Now that’s someone I want to know!” It’s someone I want to be. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.” The purest joy springs from the deepest humiliation. The strongest and noblest characters are built on the foundation of patience, love, and submission to God's will. “Charity ‘doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.’ Christ-like love places the most favorable construction on the motives and acts of others. It does not needlessly expose their faults; it does not listen eagerly to unfavorable reports, but seeks rather to bring to mind the good qualities of others. “Love ‘rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.’ This love ‘never faileth.’ It can never lose its value; it is a heavenly attribute. As a precious treasure, it will be carried by its possessor through the portals of the city of God. “ ‘And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.’ ” (E. G. White, Acts of the Apostles p. 318-319.4) “Mildness, gentleness, forbearance, long-suffering, being not easily provoked, bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things--these are the fruit growing upon the precious tree of love, which is of heavenly growth. This tree, if nourished, will prove to be an evergreen. Its branches will not decay, its leaves will not wither. It is immortal, eternal, watered continually by the dews of heaven.” (E. G. White, Testimonies for the Church, v. 2, p. 134-135) How do we get this love—the love that never ends, never fades, never dies, never fails? “When the gospel is received in its purity and power, it is a cure for the maladies that originated in sin. The Sun of Righteousness arises, ‘with healing in His wings.’ Malachi 4:2. Not all this world bestows can heal a broken heart, or impart peace of mind, or remove care, or banish disease. Fame, genius, talent—all are powerless to gladden the sorrowful heart or to restore the wasted life. The life of God in the soul is man's only hope. “The love which Christ diffuses through the whole being is a vitalizing power. Every vital part—the brain, the heart, the nerves—it touches with healing. By it the highest energies of the being are roused to activity. It frees the soul from the guilt and sorrow, the anxiety and care, that crush the life forces. With it come serenity and composure. It implants in the soul, joy that nothing earthly can destroy,—joy in the Holy Spirit,—health-giving, life-giving joy. “Our Saviour's words, ‘Come unto Me,...and I will give you rest’ (Matthew 11:28), are a prescription for the healing of physical, mental, and spiritual ills. Though men have brought suffering upon themselves by their own wrongdoing, He regards them with pity. In Him they may find help. He will do great things for those who trust in Him….If human beings would open the windows of the soul heavenward, in appreciation of the divine gifts, a flood of healing virtue would pour in.” (E. G. White, The Ministry of Healing, p. 115-116) John 13:35 says, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
In that beautiful book, The Desire of Ages, it makes a very pointed statement. It says, “when we love the world as He has loved it, then for us His mission is accomplished. We are fitted for heaven; for we have heaven in our hearts.” (E. G. White, DA p. 641) Love. Without it we are nothing. Without it, all the good we do is of no value. Without it, all our profession is worthless. Without it, we won’t be going to heaven. So what then is love? Ellen White said once, “The Lord desires me to call the attention of His people to the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians. Read this chapter every day, and from it obtain comfort and strength. Learn from it the value that God places on sanctified, heaven-born love, and let the lesson that it teaches come home to your hearts. Learn that Christlike love is of heavenly birth, and that without it all other qualifications are worthless.” (E. G. White, Review and Herald, July 21, 1904) Without love all other qualifications are worthless! It is love that is the foundational character quality. It is love that is the first fruit of the Spirit. The song says: ‘Tis love that makes us happy, ‘Tis love that smooths the way. It helps us mind, it makes us kind, To others everyday. Love makes the difference. The Bible speaks about love a lot, but specifically 1 Corinthians 13 is known as the “love chapter.” “This song of love is divided into three parts: love contrasted, love analyzed, and love abiding; or, the supremacy of love, the characteristics of love, and the permanence of love.” (Taylor Bunch, Love, p. 42) Last week we discussed love contrasted, or the supremacy of love—although I do all these things, if I don’t have love it’s of no value; love must rule all other actions. We see in love contrasted the necessity of love. Today I want us to analyze love; to see the characteristics of love. This is found in verses 4-7 of 1 Corinthians. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind” Love is patient with the faults and failings of others. “It is calm, meek, and quiet. It is willing to forgive seventy times seven times if necessary. Human nature is such that occasions for irritation and impatience are bound to occur. Clashes of personality and disposition are inevitable, and love is the only remedy. Human beings are all different, and ever will be. The Creator never made two creatures alike. Personalities are distinct even in families. Hence the imperative need of love to make us ‘patient and kind’ in all our contacts and dealings with one another.” (Taylor Bunch, Love, p. 54) Speaking in reference to teachers with students Ellen White said, “We are living in a hard, unfeeling, uncharitable world. Satan and his angels are using every means in their power to destroy souls. The good that a teacher will do his students will be proportionate to his belief in them. And let the teacher remember that it is the most unfortunate, those who have a disagreeable temperament, who are rough, stubborn, sullen, that most need love, compassion, and help. Those who most try our patience most need our love.” (E. G. White, Counsels to Teachers, p. 267) Are there people who get on your nerves? Are you irritable? Love is the answer. This last week I was looking at the fruit of the Spirit. In that list found in Galatians 5:22-23 there are three things that come before patience—love, joy, peace. If we are prone to annoyance and agitation perhaps we are lacking the first three fruits. Perhaps we need to check our own hearts. Do I have the love that Christ gives? Am I joyful and happy? Am I at peace? If not, then there’s no way we can be patient with others. We must start at the beginning. We need true love and when that love is in our hearts we will be patient and kind. “charity envieth not” Love doesn’t compete with others who have more talents or are doing something more efficiently. It doesn’t have pain at the sight of superior excellence or accomplishments in another. It doesn’t feel inferior. It isn’t bitter and angry when others are praised. It doesn’t compare itself to another’s condition or station in life. It is content. It is not selfish and self-centered. “charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up” Love is not rash. It is not arrogant or rude. It doesn’t boast of what it has done or can do. It’s humble and meek. It doesn’t have to put itself in the forefront. It is content to go unnoticed. Love “Doth not behave itself unseemly” “Love is always kind and courteous and considerate, and ever walks in the pathway of truth, uprightness, and rectitude. Love is never rude, ill bred, or uncivil, but does all things ‘decently and in order.’ “Love is always moderate, judicious, and reasonable, avoiding extremes. It is never erratic or fanatical. It does not get off balance and indulge in that kind of uncontrolled emotionalism that sometimes brings a reproach upon Christianity. Like Jesus, love is sane and rational in word and conduct.” (Taylor Bunch, Love, p. 65) Love “seeketh not her own” Love seeks to do others good. It is not selfish. “ ‘Seekest thou great things for thyself? Seek them not,’ is a Scriptural statement that cuts squarely across the philosophy of modern man….Those who live to get rather than to give, who demand their own way and focus their interests on themselves, are doomed to frustration and disappointment in the end.” (Love, 69) Love “is not easily provoked” It is not irritable or resentful. “Love does not have a quick, hair-trigger temper. It is not hasty, touchy, or sensitive.” (Love, p. 70) Love “thinketh no evil” Love puts the best construction on the actions of those around us. It doesn’t assume the worst. It doesn’t keep a record of evil in others. “It seeks to make allowances for weaknesses and failings…” Love seeks to understand people. Love has pure thoughts. It feeds on good things, not gossip or evil. It doesn’t brood over real or supposed wrongs. It doesn’t worry. Love “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth” Love isn’t happy when others mess up. It doesn’t have a “I told you so” attitude. It isn’t glad when others suffer. Yet, love doesn’t let wrong go without correction. “It grieves when evil people are promoted and unjust laws are made. It does not secretly desire to carry out the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, or the prideful goals of life.” (The Power of True Success, p. 33) “Love delights in fairness and is always on the side of mercy. Love is never influenced by policy, but bravely takes its stand on the side of right, regardless of the consequences….Love is happy over the defeat of wrong and the triumph of right, justice, and equity.” (Love, p. 84) Love is happy in the truth. It isn’t dwelling on gloom and doom. It is cheerful and optimistic. It rejoices when truth prevails. This kind of love, “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” This love can outlast anything, because love never fails. Love is pretty lovely! Do you feel your lack? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is like a test to check the state of our hearts. If I’m impatient, proud, irritable, angry, worrying, accusing, boastful, cold, selfish, indulgent, critical, imbalanced, not dependable, what’s the root cause? A lack of true love. And if we see these things in others, what’s our part? “Do not try to compel each other to yield to your wishes. You cannot do this and retain each other's love.” (E. G. White, The Faith I Live By, p. 259) “Only by love is love awakened.” (E. G. White, The Desire of Ages, p. 22) “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,”
Even though I am the most gifted orator in every language; even though I’m the most eloquent presenter; even though my words are so well articulated that their power to convince and convert is second to none, “and have not charity,” And have not that love—that deep abiding affection, “I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” I am become just a loud annoying noise. All the good I do, all the beautifully articulated words I speak, all the perfectly presented subjects are just discordant noise. There once was a great man who went before a group of unbelievers. He spoke for some time—perfectly presenting the topics of the Bible in the most convincing manner. He really could not have spoken it more clearly. He was a gifted man and the truth was set in unmistakable fashion. He knew that at the end of his talk no one could refute anything that he said. And sure enough, at the end no one could raise any objections. But also no one accepted the truth. The man was confused. Pulling one of the men aside who had attended the meeting he asked him, “Was the subject presented well?” “Oh yes.” “Was there any flaw in the logic?” “Oh no.” “Was everything completely clear?” “Oh yes.” “So what is the problem?” “You are an excellent speaker, your words are clear, but you spoke roughly to the sound engineer when the mic wasn’t working right, you complained about the hymnals not being put out on time, you were annoyed at the child who cried during your talk, you spoke sharply to the young people who gathered in the parking lot and seemed uninterested in the meeting. Your presentation was second to none, but you are missing the most important element. You do not love, you are not a Christian.” “And though I have the gift of prophecy, Even though I am skilled in Bible study and can interpret the Scriptures consistently; even though I can foretell coming events with exactness, “and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge;” Even though my wisdom is like that of Solomon and nothing is hid from my understanding; even though I can see clearly through every mystery, even though nothing escapes my notice, “and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains,” Even though every patient I ever work with recovers their health; even though every obstacle is removed by my prayers; even though I have success in all my endeavors; even though nothing is impossible to me and my faith is so great that miracles are apart of my daily life, “and have not charity, I am nothing.” If I don’t have love, I’m of no value. You may be sought after for your talents and wisdom. You may be a mighty one of prayer and people receive miracles just by contact with you. But if you do not have love, you are nothing. You are dust and ashes. None of that recommends you to God or gives you value. It’s not what you can do or have done! That’s hard for us to accept. Matthew 7:22-23 says, “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” If you do not have love, you are nothing. Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling… “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor,” Even though I freely give of my means to help others; even though my home is full of people who eat at my table; even though I go on outreach every week and feed the hungry and give out clothes to those who don’t have much; even though I give it all to help others, “and though I give my body to be burned,” Even though I am ridiculed for my faith and stand up boldly against wrong, and even though I suffer a martyrs death, “and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” If I don’t have love, none of that will matter. “No matter how high the profession, he whose heart is not filled with love for God and his fellow men is not a true disciple of Christ. Though he should possess great faith and have power even to work miracles, yet without love his faith would be worthless. He might display great liberality; but should he, from some other motive than genuine love, bestow all his goods to feed the poor, the act would not commend him to the favor of God. In his zeal he might even meet a martyr's death, yet if not actuated by love, he would be regarded by God as a deluded enthusiast or an ambitious hypocrite.” (Ellen White, The Acts of the Apostles, 318) In 1 Corinthians chapter 12 Paul goes through the gifts and glories of the church. And then he says, “But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.” 1 Corinthians 12:31. All these amazing gifts are listed that further the work and save souls and yet Paul says there’s something else—there’s something more that’s needed. What follows next is 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter. “Yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.” “The Lord desires me to call the attention of His people to the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians. Read this chapter every day, and from it obtain comfort and strength. Learn from it the value that God places on sanctified, heaven-born love, and let the lesson that it teaches come home to your hearts. Learn that Christlike love is of heavenly birth, and that without it all other qualifications are worthless.” (Ellen White, Review and Herald, July 21, 1904) Taylor Bunch in his book on Love says, “Unless love is the keystone of belief and the spring of action, the profession of Christianity is mere talk, dry formality, and heavy drudgery, and from such a religion may we be delivered. The genuine variety centers in Christ, and Christ is the personification of love.” (Page 13) All the gifts given to you, all the skills and talents you possess, unless bathed in love for God and man, are of no value. Each person longs for love. We were created to love and be loved. But what is love? What does it look like? What does it feel like? And how do we receive it and give it? There are many things that are termed love that aren’t. So it would be well for us to know what love is. “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:35) Love has power. Power to change hardened criminals. Power to bring joy to a discouraged heart. Power to put sunshine in the place of clouds. Power to lift burdens. Power to unite the long estranged. Power to heal. But what is love? We’ll begin this study in part 2... I was up most of the night. Mom came down with a bad stomach bug and fever. It was pretty bad and even though I finally settled down to sleep at 11pm after tending to everything, it was not sweet bliss after I closed my eyes. Every couple hours we were up.
After such a night I didn’t want to get up, but that isn’t usually an option for an adult on a weekday, and with a sick family member besides. Once I got moving I was met with a lot that needed attention. So I spent the day preparing meals, washing dishes that were piled high and overflowing, wiping down walls that contained who knows what, sorting clothes that were threadbear or just in need of a better home than I can provide, vacuuming and scrubbing the carpet to try to remove the stains left behind from a recent flood, making sense and bring order to a room that is in chaos (due to the flood), answering messages for work, burdening my mind with thoughts of the the future—all while tending to my sweet sick mother. But all that isn’t to complain at all! I’m more reflecting on something special—my parents. You see, all those many things I did today are things that Dad and Mom have done, day in and day out, for years. Tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, with no end in sight and no one but themselves to tackle the tasks. That was them. No one asked them to have children or a home. No one told them they had to get married and take on the huge responsibilities of home-life. But they did it—and happily at that! Who stands at the marriage altar and sighs and grumbles about all the runny noses they will have to wipe, all the dishes they will wash, all the sleepless nights they will have to spend. No, people don’t do that. They sign-up for it with all the excitement of new love. And they embrace it all because of love. Why am I saying these things? Because you know what happened on this beautiful day in Sunny Southern California back in 1980? A wedding! Yes, I realize that there were probably many weddings that took place on September 21, 1980, but one in particular is significant to me. Forty-years ago, Teresa Mudersbach walked down a grassy aisle in the park, escorted by her father, and joined Gary Kodimer under the chuppah. On this day in 1980, they became a family. When Mom got sick last night I messaged my brother and Dad to let them know and both called within minutes. After talking to David, I called Dad back. He’s always one who wants to know all the details of what is going on. Once he was well informed about Mom’s condition he reminded me, “You know what tomorrow is? Our anniversary.” I smiled, always one to remember special dates even in the midst of turmoil! People always marvel at my parents’ dynamic. Even though they have been separated since ‘97 and divorced since ‘99, they still remain as was determined on that day in September, 40-years-ago, they are--family. That’s how Dad describes it. Though unfortunate circumstances divided our home, we’ll always be a family. I admire my parents for that. Divorce is a terrible thing. It’s painful no matter how you look at it. But the respect and love Mom and Dad have extended to each other inspires me. Things can never be the same but wounds can heal. Life can be beautiful, even when it isn’t perfect. So today I want to say, HAPPY 40th ANNIVERSARY to two of the most important people in my life! I’m so thankful you were married and that I exist! *big grin* I’m thankful for being born to both of you because I really wouldn’t want ANY OTHER PEOPLE TO BE MY (1st) PARENTS! ;-) I couldn’t ask for more loving, supportive, and encouraging parents. I love you. P.S. Oh and did I mention that I didn’t get to shower until the day was basically over? I was headed that direction after breakfast but then was greeted with wet carpet when my feet entered my closet and duty trumped desire. Yeah, sounds like the life of a parent—a life we don’t appreciate frequently enough. As with most little girls, I loved hearing the story of how my parents met and got married. Mom and Dad came from different worlds, with one similarity--the day set apart for the worship of God, the Sabbath. Not that Dad ever worshiped God on Saturday. You see, while Mom grew up as a Seventh-day Adventist, going to church every Sabbath, Dad on the other hand came from a secular Jewish home. Religion was confined to Passover and Hanukkah (the Jewish Holidays). Attending the synagogue was a rare occasion. God was an idea, not a personal friend, Lord, and Savior. My parents met at work and as their relationship grew Dad started to attend church with Mom. Church wasn't the biggest problem for Dad, rather it was the name of Jesus. Every other sentence seemed to contain that name, a name that stung his ears and raised his blood pressure. Not that Dad had much knowledge about Jesus Himself. But you see, since childhood he had heard the bitter words, "the Jews killed Christ"! Now he was sitting in a church hearing this name repeated often. After some time, the local Pastor, who had studied into Judaism extensively, told Dad one day, "Gary, you have 2000 years of prejudice standing between you and the truth. You just need to let it go." That was Dad's turning point. In time, Dad told Mom, "get ready to get ready," and the next day Mom bought a wedding dress. For my parents' wedding they had two officiates, Pastor Michael Blaine and Rabbi Joe Kagan. The story I really want to share is Rabbi Joe's testimony. Artist Elfred Lee's Testimony of Rabbi Joe Kagan: "I met Rabbi Joe Kagan at Weimar Institute in CA. His family had come from Eastern Europe where his aunt had been raped while a priest stood over her with a crucifix saying, "This is what you get for killing Christ." So you can imagine the feeling of many Jews towards Christianity. American Christians are not at all like Europeans. His family moved to the US while he was young. At age 13 he debuted at Carnegie Hall as a cantor. He had a beautiful, tenor voice. He received a very high education and became a rabbi. I met him in his later years in 1978 after he had been on Ronald Reagan's staff in Sacramento as their research man. If there were any questions about any subject, he was the one that did the research and found the answers. He had a very negative attitude towards Christianity. He would never touch the New Testament. However, he knew the Jewish Old Testament (Torah) extremely well as a highly educated rabbi would. One day he got hold of a book called "Patriarchs and Prophets" by Ellen G. White. He read it with astonishment and wanted to know who this Ellen White was. That is when I met him. He was asking who is this Ellen G. White, and what university did she attend. We told him she only had a 3rd grade education. "Then, where did she learn Hebrew?" he asked. We told him that she never knew Hebrew, but was the most prolific female writer in history and that this was only one of her books. He was amazed at her knowledge, saying that the information in this book (Patriarchs and Prophets) is Mishnaic. The Mishnah is part of the Hebrew scholarship. He said the Mishnah had only been translated into English 30 years ago and that only high-level rabbis knew this information. This is the history of my people and it is very, very accurate. He also said that you have to know Hebrew to be able to write like this because her sentence structure is not English, it's Hebrew...The rhythm, the meter, the arrangement of words and expressions are not English. He said it's as if she wrote in Hebrew and it was translated into English. My family and I developed a strong friendship with Joe, his wife and son. As we studied the Bible and some Ellen White books together one day, he said, "I am convinced that Ellen White was inspired by the same source that inspired the Hebrew prophets. I want to become a Christian. I accept Jesus Christ as my Messiah." Now, he would not have come to Christ through reading the Bible. Even though the Hebrew Bible is full of prophecies pointing to the Messiah, it took Ellen White's writings to prove to him that Jesus Christ was the fulfillment of all the Hebrew prophecies. And only then did he pick up the New Testament and read about his Jewish Messiah. Many times I saw him cry. I was in the middle of a painting commission for a large mural called "Christ The Way of Life" for the world headquarters of the Seventh Day Adventist church in Washington DC. He became very involved with that painting. The painting had originally been inspired by James and Ellen White who had commissioned an engraver to do a black and white drawing of the subject. He confirmed to me that Ellen White's concept was very accurate on the whole plan of salvation in both the Old and New Testament, but that the engraver had misrepresented her concepts. So he helped me in many details to make the painting historically and theologically accurate; especially regarding the sanctuary section, the Hebrew writing on the cross and the last supper scene. He told me to paint Jesus and his disciples at an oriental style table, sitting on mats on the floor - not Roman couches as the medieval artists painted. Further, he said their heads would be covered and he made sure I painted the wine, the unleavened bread and the bitter herbs and their symbolism exactly as they would have been. He approved of the whole painting and we had an unveiling ceremony at the Auburn SDA Church in late 1979. He had written a song to go with the painting and sat at the organ as we unveiled the painting. He wept as he sang the words of Jesus on the cross quoting Isaiah, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" He sang and sang and wept and wept, his whole body shaking. There was not a dry eye in the whole church. His voice was so beautiful. The original painting hangs in the new SDA world headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland where they have posters and Bible studies of the painting. I could never have done it without the inspiration of Rabbi Kagan and Ellen White. I wish they were still alive! We were at his secret baptism in the Bear River above Sacramento on Saturday night Dec. 22, 1979. There were four of us present. He could not even tell his wife and son that he was now a Christian. As he came up out of the cold water praising God and singing to his new Messiah, he said, "I am now a completed Jew. I have now accepted the Old and New Testament and the Messiah that all Jewish prophets told us about!" I was recently in Europe giving some workshops on art and some of my archeological work in the Middle East. I happened to meet a Jewish family from Israel. Shalom David was originally from Iraq and his wife from Chile. They were now attending a college in Europe where I met with quite a bit of opposition to the writings of Ellen White. This Jewish family invited me to their home for Shabbat (Friday night supper.) It was a most enjoyable occasion as his wife and beautiful children sang and celebrated the arrival of Sabbath as Jews have done for thousands of years. I told them the story of Rabbi Kagan and he got very excited. He said, "The same thing happened to me! I would have rather burned the Bible then touch it! I wanted nothing to do with Christianity, but I also read the writings of Ellen White and the Spirit of God was on that woman. Her writings are as if she wrote in Hebrew. You can definitely hear the Hebrew rhythm, meter and expressions in her books. I also believe she was inspired by the same source as the Hebrew prophets. And she has helped me fall in love with Jesus Christ, my Messiah." I just met yesterday with a rabbi living here in California - Rabbi Ben. It was a follow up to a Sabbath meal I was invited to this last Sabbath with him and a group of Adventists. He went through the whole ceremony at the meal just like Rabbi Kagan and as my new friend (Shalom David) in Europe had. So yesterday we were talking over Hebrew ceremonies and how they are still effective in healing disease. Rabbi Ben told me that he has also had the same experience. He hated the Bible but that Ellen White brought him to Christ and helped him read the New Testament and fall in love with the Messiah. He also told me that he had gone to visit one of the most influential rabbis in America who is in his 90s who must remain unnamed. While in this rabbi's library talking, he was scanning the many, many books on his walls and there he saw the book "Patriarchs and Prophets" by Ellen White. Rabbi Ben asked him about it and where he had gotten it, "Why do you have this book by a Christian author?" The rabbi said, "This as a very authoritative source on our history." God works in amazing ways and by instruments of His choosing. He often chooses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. Ellen White was one of the least likely instruments but in her weakness God was glorified. May the same be said of us. Let God work by what and whom He will.
A warrior has fought her last fight, laid down her armor and took her final rest. I say warrior because in every sense Mrs. Cook, as I always called her, was a fighter. Strong, stubborn, dedicated, independent, opinionated—she went against the current of the world; she was born to originate and do something great. It didn’t matter who stood with her or against her, she went forward, fighting for what she believed in. She really was an amazing woman—flawed and human, but amazing nonetheless.
I first heard of Mrs. Cook when my mom came across the SonLight curriculum and purchased it for my homeschool. When I finally chose to become a Christian, the SonLight books were monumental in my development. School wasn’t about just getting a bunch of academic knowledge stuffed in my head; it was about getting to know God through all I was studying. I didn’t just have a Bible class, I had the Bible in every class. Mrs. Cook was the founder of SonLight and the creator of the school program. She had immersed herself in the study of education and taken on the seemingly impossible task of writing a whole curriculum for children from birth on up that used the Bible as the main textbook. She had incredible drive and vision. It didn’t matter the obstacles or how long it would take, she steadily moved forward. My family got the SonLight program before I was 10 and Mom had contact with Mrs. Cook off and on for several years. At the age of 16 Mom and I traveled across the country to attend a health session in Virginia and who just happened to be at the same location giving a homeschool seminar but Mrs. Cook. One year later we ended up in Washington state and began an unforgettable journey living and working at SonLight. The ministry was small. It consisted of Mrs. Cook, Mom, me, and Mr. Cook (when he wasn’t in town working his main job). I was just 17, so I wasn’t quite considered a “staff member” yet. But if Mrs. Cook believed you should do something she wasted no time in pushing you forward and stretching you in that area. I quickly found myself proofreading, imputing school lessons into the computer (as some of the original files had gotten lost), reformatting books, recording CDs, designing covers, and even writing school lessons. It didn’t matter that I had limited experience, opportunities develop potential. I am forever indebted to her for all the opportunities she gave me. Mrs. Cook was all about developing your character. If she felt like you had a weak point in an area, that’s what she focused on. Sometimes she was right and it was appreciated, and sometimes not. But she meant well. Being a shy and quiet 17-year-old, the last thing I wanted to do was answer the phone calls coming into the Print Shop. So guess what? Every day, I was assigned to answer the phone for one hour. Mrs. Cook took me with her on several education seminars. And once again, although young, she put me in charge of the music and teaching several classes. She strongly believed in getting all ages to participate in church and class. There was always a new creative way to approach old and familiar subjects that kept both small children and 80+ year-old adults interested and learning. It was at SonLight that the idea of a family Sabbath school was introduced to me and I immediately felt right at home. Twenty or so, 4-drawer filing cabinets lined the basement wall in Mrs. Cook’s home. They were filled with articles, activities, poems, stories, and studies, all categorized in alphabetical order. When Mrs. Cook was writing about the hydrologic cycle, she would go to her files and see what she could find to contribute to the school lesson. Her library was extensive and exceptionally organized. Studying and writing was her happy place, her retreat and solace. And she gave to families and the world resources whose estimate cannot be numbered. I owe a lot to Mrs. Cook. My years at SonLight were pivotal in my experience. I was challenged, would I look to man and turn from everything or look to God and know in whom I have believed? I grew to be more understanding and compassionate towards leadership. I developed a strong love for this grand work, especially that of helping families in the education of their little ones. I went to SonLight a child and left a woman. Those years were not easy, but life-changing. SonLight will forever be a great part of who I am. Mrs. Cook was really an amazing woman, a warrior for God. She was far from perfect, but she was fighting the good fight of faith. I’m forever grateful for what she gave to me and countless families across the world. May that influence never cease. “Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth…that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.” (Revelation 14:13) tPoor, wretched, perverse, selfish, blind, miserable, hopeless, wicked, this is our condition—every single one of us, from the littlest to the eldest.
There is no one that is good, no not one. This is a dark cold world where pain and suffering come to every heart. The lights and glamour, laughter and mirth that allure our senses are but a cover up to the emptiness within. Picture a cup with a lid on it. This cup is like our heart. We are born with a natural drive to fill our “cup”. No one wants to fill it with ugly things. We look for the brightest, most colorful things to fill it with--friends, food, our own ideas, fun, games, pleasure, relationships, things—nice clothes, car, house—a perfect outward appearance. Notice that many of the things we try to fill our cup with aren’t bad in and of themselves. But you know what? They can’t fill the void. So as Christians we know there’s something more that we need. We need God—so we read the Bible and go to church. It's like pouring water on the cup. But what’s wrong? There’s a lid on the cup. Nothing can get inside. We’re surrounded by “things”—they might even be good things, but we are left still feeling dark, cold, alone, in pain, hopeless, helpless, selfish, poor, miserable, weighted down but empty. The human heart is ever seeking to fill a void. But no amount of things or relationships can fill that void. We can try to fill it in pleasure but it still is a heavy weight. What’s the answer? We have to open the cup! Isaiah 43:11 says, “I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour.” The word Savior means: “properly to be open, wide or free, that is, (by implication) to be safe; causatively to free or succor…get victory.” (Strong’s) Do you need to be opened up so you can be filled? Do you need to be freed? Do you need victory? Luke 2:11, “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” Unto you a Savior! There is hope. There is freedom. Over 2000 years ago, “In the fields where the boy David had led his flock, shepherds were still keeping watch by night. Through the silent hours they talked together of the promised Saviour, and prayed for the coming of the King to David's throne. ‘And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.’ ‘Heaven is love.’ Wonder, O heavens! and be astonished, O earth!” (E. G. White, YI, December 26, 1905) John 4:42 - “…Now we believe, not because of thy saying: for we have heard him ourselves, and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world.” Have you heard Him yourself? Has Jesus come to you, a Savior? Acts 5:31 - “Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.” “The Christmas season is the occasion of making gifts one to another, but the richest gifts Christ has given to the world in Himself, that the world through Him might not perish but have eternal life. Gifts and offerings should be brought to Christ. [Jesus wants a Christmas gift.] The most precious gift of all is that of giving Him your heart without any reserve. How acceptable to Christ would be such an offering! Give to Jesus your whole heart, for Him to write His image and superscription upon it, and to send His beams of righteousness into it to be sent to the world through the living agent.” (1888 776) Two Babes in a Manger Author unknown In 1994, two Americans answered an invitation from the Russian Department of Education to teach morals and ethics (based on Biblical principles) in the public schools. They were invited to teach at prisons, businesses, the fire and police departments—and a large orphanage. About 100 boys and girls who had been abandoned, abused, and left in the care of a government-run program were in the orphanage. The Americans relate the following Christmas story: It was nearing the holiday season, 1994, time for our orphans to hear the traditional Christmas story for the first time. We told them about Mary and Joseph arriving in Bethlehem. Finding no room in the inn, the couple went to a stable, where the baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger. Throughout the Christmas story, the children and orphanage staff sat and listened in amazement. Some sat on the edges of their stools, trying to grasp every word. Completing the story, we gave the children three small pieces of cardboard to make a crude manger. Each child was given a small paper square, cut from yellow napkins I had brought with me. No colored paper was available in the city. Following instructions, the children tore the paper and carefully laid strips in the manger for straw. Small squares of flannel, cut from a worn-out nightgown an American lady was throwing away as she left Russia, were used for the baby’s blanket. A doll-like baby was cut from tan felt we had brought from the United States. The orphans were busy assembling their manger as I walked among them to see if they needed any help. All went well until I got to one table where little Misha sat. He looked to be about six years old, and had finished his project. As I looked at the little boy’s manger, I was startled to see not one, but two babies in the manger. Quickly, I called for the translator to ask the lad why there were two babies in the manger. Crossing his arms in front of him and looking at this completed manger scene, the child began to repeat the story very seriously. For such a young boy, who had only heard the Christmas story once, he related the happenings accurately-until he came to the part where Mary put the baby Jesus in the manger. Then Misha started to ad lib. He made up his own ending to the story as he said, "And when Mary laid the baby in the manger, Jesus looked at me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told Him I have no mama and I have no papa, so I don’t have any place to stay. Then Jesus told me I could stay with Him. But I told Him I couldn’t, because I didn’t have a gift to give Him like everybody else did. But I wanted to stay with Jesus so much, so I thought about what I had that maybe I could use for a gift. I thought maybe that if I kept Him warm, that would be a good gift. So I asked Jesus, ‘If I keep You warm, will that be a good enough gift?' "And Jesus told me, ‘If you keep Me warm, that will be the best gift anybody ever gave Me.' "So I got into the manger, and then Jesus looked at me and He told me I could stay with Him—for always." As little Misha finished his story, his eyes brimmed full of tears that splashed down his little cheeks. Putting his hand over his face, his head dropped to the table and his shoulders shook as he sobbed and sobbed. The little orphan had found Someone who would never abandon nor abuse him, Someone who would stay with him—for always. Unto him had come a Savior. “Jesus loves you and He wants your love. He would have you remember that He gave His precious life that you should not perish; and He will be unto you a present help in every time of need. Only look to Jesus and tell Him every perplexity and trial.... Ask Him to help and strengthen and bless you, and believe that He hears your prayers....” (OHC 98) Titus 2:13 - “Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ.” – Unto you a Savior, it’s going to happen again! The Savior is coming, the 2nd time. But only as we have made Him our Savior now will He be our Savior then. Make Him your safety, your protection; let Him deliver you from your own self and perverted ways. He wants to open the lid of your heart so He can fill it! Today, may He be to you a Savior. Self-pity Defined: Excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles; completely focused on feeling bad about your own problems and complaints.
Bible Examples
Setting Yourself Up to Feel Hurt Matthew 7:3-5 – “We usually blame others for our hurt feelings. Yet we often set ourselves up to experience hurts, rejection, or burnout. This happens at work, school, home, church, or wherever we are. Jesus taught us a different way to look at things—to first focus on ourselves and how we contributed to a problem.” (Doug Britton) Perspective “Some people are so focused on their hurts that they almost become ‘unteachable.’ They see ‘proof’ for their point of view and are not willing to look at things from a new perspective. You too may resist seeing how you set yourself up to feel hurt. For example:
[Take some time to go through the personal application section at the end of this study.] Don’t go to an extreme and blame yourself for everything Although you should look at how you contribute to problems, don’t go to an extreme. For example, if your parent, spouse, or anyone else physically [or emotionally] abuses you, don’t think you deserve it.” (Doug Britton) Cultivate Self-respect Instead of Self-pity “The truth is that self-pity is addictive. It’s like a drug, and soon you barely even notice that you are playing the game of self-pity. In fact, it may make you feel good about yourself at times, especially when it allows you to get attention as well as sympathy from yourself and from other people.” (Doug Britton, MFT) Self-pity is a counterfeit, it’s a terrible filler for the void we feel, it never brings true contentment and joy. No matter how much attention we receive it is never enough. The void is always there. Self-pity is an effort to get love and attention. But we need to realize that we are loved, infinitely. We are valuable.
“It is not pleasing to God that you should demerit yourself. You should cultivate self-respect by living so that you will be approved by your own conscience and before men and angels....It is your privilege to go to Jesus and be cleansed, and to stand before the law without shame or remorse. ‘There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit’ (Romans 8:1). While we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought, the Word of God does not condemn a proper self-respect. As sons and daughters of God, we should have a conscious dignity of character, in which pride and self-importance have no part.” (1MCP 260) Combatting Self-pity I Kings 19:4, 9-15 – “While pitying himself, Elijah asks for death, saying, ‘It is enough! Now LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!’ His situation reveals several problems that can fatigue and erode our attitudes: He presumes the outcome, focuses on the problem and himself, and becomes physically exhausted. God provides the solutions to alleviate self-pity:
When Elijah crawls into his shell, God commands him to get up and get moving. He wants Elijah to choose godly action based on obedience rather than inaction based on his emotions. Genuine repentance and a clear view of our true condition, not a distorted one, fights self-pity.” (Martin G. Collins Forerunner, “Bible Study,” June 2001) Steps to Overcome Self-Pity You have a choice 2 Corinthians 10:5 – “Whatever thought you are having, you have the choice to have another thought. For instance, if you are blaming someone else for what has happened to you, then you have the choice to blame yourself instead. You also have the choice to blame no one and see what happened as unavoidable. You also have a choice to see what happened as an opportunity for growth. There are many ways to view what happened, and which way you view it all boils down to your choice.” “Many greatly magnify seeming difficulties and then begin to pity themselves and give way to despondency. Such need to make an entire change in themselves. They need to discipline themselves to put forth exertion and to overcome all childish feelings. They should determine that life shall not be spent in working at trifles....Everyone should have an aim, an object, in life. The loins of the mind should be girded up and the thoughts be trained to keep to the point, as the compass to the pole. The mind should be directed in the right channel, according to well-formed plans. Then every step will be a step in advance....Success or failure in this life depends much upon the manner in which the thoughts are disciplined.” (2MCP 630) Bring your emotions under control 1 Corinthians 9:27; Isaiah 26:3 – “Do you want others to dictate how you feel, or do you want to decide how you are going to feel no matter what is happening? Do you want to feel down when bad things happen, or do you want to get back on your feet and work on making things better?” “Your self-pity is an injury to you; you sympathize with yourself, feel that you are not esteemed as you should be, that your work is altogether too hard, and your best efforts are unappreciated. These feelings are the result of a spiritual disease, which can be cured only through faith in Christ. The temptation seizes you when you are weary or perplexed; but when the first symptoms appear, and the enemy works to make you grumble and murmur, look unto Jesus, trust in your Saviour. This is the only cure for this spiritual malaria....If you allow your mind to be occupied with these things, the enemy will see that you are kept busy. He puts his magnifying glass before your eyes, and mole hills of difficulty are made to appear as mountains....You need to understand how to repose in God. A wise heart, molded by the Holy Spirit, it is your privilege to have; and this is the foundation of all true happiness.... “God would have you trust in His love, and be constantly guarding your soul by locking the gate of your thoughts, that they shall not become unmanageable; for when you allow your mind to indulge these thoughts of self-pity, the enemy comes in to suggest the most unkind and unreasonable things in regard to those who would do you good, and only good.... “Listen to Jesus, follow His counsel and you will not go astray from the wise and mighty Counsellor, the only true Guide, the only One who can give you peace, happiness, and fulness of joy....Whatever others may think of us or may do to us, it need not disturb this oneness with Christ, this fellowship of the Spirit. You know we cannot find rest anywhere out of Christ.” (SD 298) Do not brag about the bad (even to yourself) Philippians 4:12; 1 Timothy 6:6; Hebrews 13:5 – “When you are looking for pity, you will tell other people about how bad things are. You will talk about how sick you feel and how bad you have it, and then you will wait for them to feel sorry for you. When you are looking for self-pity, you do the same thing. You tell yourself how sick you are and how bad you have it and then wait for your thoughts and feelings to match up to the story you are telling yourself. It’s time to stop the story. Commit to not telling the sad story to others or yourself anymore.” “Do not cultivate a pride for consistency in petty matters. Such a course lends no strength to the cause of truth. We are none of us required to make ourselves singular, or to be martyrs in a small way all through life, by contending for little things when there is really nothing to contend about. Those who take this course pity themselves, thinking they have so much trouble on account of being conscientious, upright, and straight-forward in everything. But instead of being influenced by conscientiousness, they are indulging a wicked, selfish pride of notions.…We need not keep our own record of trials and difficulties, griefs and sorrows. All these things are written in the books, and Heaven will take care of them. While we are carefully counting up these disagreeable things, many things that are pleasant to reflect upon are passing from the memory; such as the merciful kindness of God surrounding us every moment, and the love over which angels marvel, that God gave his Son to die for us.” (GW92 461-462) Do something Proverbs 22:11-12 – “Pick something that you are unhappy with about your life and do something. It doesn’t have to be big, but it does have to be something!” “Let no one say, I cannot remedy my defects of character. If you come to this decision, you will certainly fail of obtaining everlasting life. The impossibility lies in your own will. If you will not, then you cannot overcome. The real difficulty arises from the corruption of an unsanctified heart, and an unwillingness to submit to the control of God.” (COL 331) Notice the good things in your life Psalm 103 (all or vs. 2-5, 10-14); 1 Thessalonians 5:16, 18 – “Now that you are doing something towards your problems, you should be able to see many of the good things in life that you couldn’t see before. Maybe you can see your strength or choices. Maybe you can see your freedom or loved ones. Maybe you can see how good you have it compared to many other people in this world. I don’t know what you are going to see, but you will see some good things. It’s recommended to keep a gratitude journal at this time. When you start writing down everything that you are grateful for, you begin to see how many great things there are in your life. As you ponder your list, you will start to feel less like your life is a misfortunate state of affairs and more like it is a place where love, goodness, and fun is abundant.” Give to others Galatians 6:2; Romans 15:1; Acts 20:35 – “One of the best ways to step out of self is to give to others. When you start to work towards making other people’s lives better, you stop focusing on what you don’t have or what has gone wrong, and you start focusing on the power you have to make this world a better place. The way to overcome self-pity is to give without expectation. Give selflessly.” (http://www.ilanelanzen.com/personaldevelopment/11-signs-of-self-pity-and-7-steps-to-overcome-it) “In essence, self-pity is excessive [false] love of oneself. Thus, a simple cure for self-pity is caring for someone else's welfare more than self—in a word, selflessness. Outgoing concern, love, toward others is outlined by the Ten Commandments, for they show love toward God and love toward neighbor. The saints who overcome Satan and the world are known by the trait that ‘they did not love their lives to the death.’ They are willing to lay down their lives for their friends (John 15:13).” (Martin G. Collins Forerunner, “Bible Study,” June 2001) 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.” John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” Extras Not to Take Neglects to Heart.—“It is the love of self that destroys our peace. While self is all alive, we stand ready continually to guard it from mortification and insult; but when we are dead and our life is hid with Christ in God, we shall not take neglects or slights to heart. We shall be deaf to reproach and blind to scorn and insult.” (2MCP 631) Deadly Self-pity.—“We need to beware of self-pity. Never indulge the feeling that you are not esteemed as you should be, that your efforts are not appreciated, that your work is too difficult. Let the memory of what Christ has endured for us silence every murmuring thought. We are treated better than was our Lord. ‘Seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not.’ Jeremiah 45:5. The Lord has no place in His work for those who have a greater desire to win the crown than to bear the cross. He wants men who are more intent upon doing their duty than upon receiving their reward—men who are more solicitous for principle than for promotion. “Those who are humble, and who do their work as unto God, may not make so great a show as do those who are full of bustle and self-importance; but their work counts for more. Often those who make a great parade call attention to self, interposing between the people and God, and their work proves a failure. ‘Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honor, when thou dost embrace her.’ Proverbs 4:7, 8. “Because they have not the determination to take themselves in hand and to reform, many become stereotyped in a wrong course of action. But this need not be. They may cultivate their powers to do the very best kind of service, and then they will be always in demand. They will be valued for all that they are worth.” (HDL 16-17) Jesus Understands, Leave it at His Feet.—“It should not be difficult to remember that the Lord desires you to lay your troubles and perplexities at His feet, and leave them there. Go to Him, saying, ‘Lord, my burdens are too heavy for me to carry. Wilt Thou bear them for me?’ And He will answer, ‘I will take them. “With everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee.” I will take your sins and will give you peace. Banish no longer your self-respect; for I have bought you with the price of My own blood. You are Mine. Your weakened will I will strengthen. Your remorse for sin I will remove.’ ” (1MCP 259) Ability to Endure Neglect.—“The soul that loves God rises above the fog of doubt; he gains a bright, broad, deep, living experience and becomes meek and Christlike. His soul is committed to God, hid with Christ in God. He will be able to stand the test of neglect, of abuse and contempt, because his Saviour has suffered all this. He will not become fretful and discouraged when difficulties press him, because Jesus did not fail or become discouraged. Every true Christian will be strong, not in the strength and merit of his good works, but in the righteousness of Christ, which through faith is imputed unto him. It is a great thing to be meek and lowly in heart, to be pure and undefiled, as was the Prince of heaven when He walked among men.” (2MCP 631) Affects Character.—“Self-pity is deteriorating to the characters of those who cherish it, and it exerts an influence that spoils the happiness of others.” (MM 177) What to Do.—“No Time for Self-pity. I say, put your trust in God. Your mind has been perplexed and occupied with this matter regarding your wife. Now in the name of Jesus lay this matter down; leave your case with the Lord. Let your experience humble you. Christ is with the weak and the tempted and forsaken, to give them His divine sympathy and rest. You need rest of mind. Give up Laura and fasten your affections on God. He will give you relief. Time is short; you have no time to stop and pity yourself; go to work for the Master. Do your duty to the very best of your ability; do not give up to discouragement; walk humbly with God; seek communion with God. Do not let your disappointment make you self-centered, to think of yourself, talk of yourself....Live for God. Be kind, be courteous. Let not this disappointment ruin you. Cast off your melancholy. God will help you if you will be true to Him. Remember, the eye of God is upon you, searching the depths of your soul.... “May the Lord help, strengthen, and bless you, to do your best. Look away from earthly things, earthly idols, and worship the Lord thy God, and serve Him with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and then you will be wholly devoted to the Lord.” (TSB 58) Sometimes You Just Need Rest.—“When you get so weary that you feel full of care and worry and self-pity, just go apart and rest awhile. Do not worry yourself out of the arms of Jesus.... “Look away from yourself unto Jesus, who is the author and the finisher of your faith. Be of good courage, and He will bring it to pass. You are not to be weaklings. When you feel thus, take an entire rest. Talk courage, talk faith, and you may create an atmosphere of hopefulness and brightness.” (9MR 17) Personal Application Ask yourself if you set yourself up to feel hurt in any of the following ways: Do you “ask for” rejection or persecution? For example, do you act withdrawn, angry, or obnoxious? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you ignore others? For example, do feel sorry for yourself because no one writes to you, yet you don’t write letters yourself? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you offer to do too much and then say, “Poor me”? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you say “yes” to requests and then think others take advantage of you? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you say insensitive or insulting things? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you taunt, attack, or ridicule others? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you complain a lot, then wonder why other people avoid you? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you seem aloof (even though you are just shy)? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you complain when you could do something positive instead? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: Do you attract abusive men or women? How I set myself up: Changes I should make: -Doug Britton, MFT |
SolominaEverything in life has meaning. There's a lesson in every object, every situation, every process. I want to go deeper, in a higher way. I want to listen, to understand, to know. Archives
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