Life. What does that word even mean? What is life all about anyway? Have you ever had those thoughts? Yes yes, we know the “right” answer—glorify God and win souls for the kingdom of heaven. But what does that look like day to day? What does it feel like? Isn’t it strange…we get up each day, we eat, we work, we may do some extra things that we enjoy—or not so much—we go to bed, only to repeat the whole process again. Life.
Giving up. Have you ever wanted to give? Give up on a situation; give up on a person; give up on a relationship; give up on a project; give up on doing what you’ve always done; just give up. Life seems dead, like it doesn’t really matter. You look around at those you love, and you ask, How have I really made a difference in their lives? Your ideas and standards are met with scorn or at best as simply “your own opinion,” nothing worth embracing, not even worth studying to see how those conclusions were made. You stand alone. It’s painful to hear the comments, the encouragement in worldly ways. You’ve failed. Failed in sharing truth even amongst your closest friends. So you’ve given up. Then you try to settle it in your mind, Your job isn’t to convince, it’s only to plant seeds. But that doesn’t change how discouraged you feel inside. Life. I’ve been there. I know what those thoughts and feelings are like. I became a Christian when I was 13-14 years old. Life went on and with it ups and downs in my spiritual walk. There were times when I was "alive" and when I was "dead." Those early years were in a way some of the hardest because you’re learning how to walk the straight and narrow, and yet they were also some of the easiest because you see your need and you know that God is the only one who can help you. As time passes the challenges in the Christian walk change form. It’s easy as the years roll by to get complacent, to just go along, whatever happens happens. We lose our sense of priorities. It takes place oh so subtly. After being in this Christian journey for many years I began to really struggle. It was a different type of struggle than I had experienced before. I just felt like giving up; giving up on work; giving up on friendships; just giving up. My purpose for life was dying. I want to take you back to when the climax came…. It was a Sabbath afternoon. I had been with friends for most of the afternoon but I just wasn’t there, mentally. Finally I left the group and went for a walk. I want you to put yourself there. You’re walking, walking, walking. Your mind is full and you begin to ask yourself questions… Why do certain things matter? Why should it matter if anyone appreciates what I do? Why should it matter when it seems like it’s a waste of someone’s time to talk with me? Why should it matter if anyone is interested in what I have to say? Why should it matter if anyone accepts the truths I have learned about music, dress, personal appearance, conversation, or anything else? Why should it matter if no one likes my singing or playing? Why should it matter if no one supports my efforts? Why should anything I do or say matter? And then it’s as if God speaks through the storm of your thoughts, It matters to you only if your sense of value and worth comes from those things. If no one ever stopped to talk to you or was interested in what you had to say, if no one ever commented on how they appreciated your contributions, if no one ever made you a priority in their life, if no one ever supported you in anything, would you still do it? And if you wouldn’t, why? Would you feel worthless? I’ve been a fairly confident, secure individual, most of my life. But I also have had a sense of being highly valued by those around me. When that is stripped away and you’re left with just being one among many, do you feel worthless? That is not what makes us valuable. On that Sabbath afternoon walk I knew that truth, intellectually but there was a heart problem. When you find someone sprawled on the ground you immediately check their level of alertness. If they are unresponsive then you check for a pulse and signs of life. If none, then you begin CPR. What are you trying to do? Get the heart pumping—there’s a heart problem. They need to be revived. “Revival signifies a renewal of spiritual life, a quickening of the powers of mind and heart, a resurrection from the spiritual death.” (E. G. White, Christian Service, p. 42) In one of my favorite books it asks, “Who has the heart? With whom are our thoughts? Of whom do we love to converse? Who has our warmest affections and our best energies? If we are Christ's, our thoughts are with Him, and our sweetest thoughts are of Him. All we have and are is consecrated to Him. We long to bear His image, breathe His spirit, do His will, and please Him in all things.” (E. G. White, Steps to Christ, p. 58) “The world claims the heart; but that heart belongs to the One who redeemed it. If given to the world, it will be filled with care, sorrow, and disappointed hopes; it will become impure and corrupted.” (E. G. White, Messages to Young People, p. 407) Are we filled with care, sorrow, and disappointed hopes? We have a heart problem. On that Sabbath afternoon as I was walking alone, God said, You have a heart problem. If I were never able to speak without fumbling along, if I always squeaked and messed up when playing an instrument, if I couldn’t hit a right note for anything when I sang, if I were never able to get anyone to do anything, if I was never good enough for people or my work appreciated, I would still be of value. The tears streamed down my face. Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane saw me, He saw you. He was misunderstood and forsaken by EVERYONE. NO ONE SUPPORTED HIM OR APPECIATED HIM. And yet, He did it anyway. In the midst of His suffering and pain He saw me [put yourself there] and He said, “I’ll do it for her.” As the great drops of sweaty blood were dripping down His troubled face and He clung to the ground in anguish, He said, “She is precious to Me. I want her to be with me for all eternity. I’ll do it for her.” WOW ME! He valued me of infinite worth (put yourself there), not because I could do anything for Him, but because He loved me. He wants to be with me. He wants to hear what I have to say, with all my imperfect, stammering words, and He’s the BEST listener ever. He wants to talk with me. He never considers time with me a waste. He never belittles my comments or ideas. If I am wrong, He seeks to redirect me. He loves me, not for what or who I am. He sees in me something He wants to polish and make beautiful. I wanted to give up. I failed; failed in friendships; failed in serving; failed in so many areas. I was dissatisfied with life. What did it all mean? What was it all for? It's hard to keep going when you feel like it's all a waste--all worthless. So you have to ask, why? You have to get to the root--it’s a heart problem. In the garden of Gethsemane Christ looked down through the ages and saw you. "I want that one to be with Me for all eternity. I'll go to Calvary for them." That thought breaks my heart, but also sets me free. That’s what gives me revival.
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SolominaEverything in life has meaning. There's a lesson in every object, every situation, every process. I want to go deeper, in a higher way. I want to listen, to understand, to know. Archives
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